Thursday, June 23, 2005

I Guess Tasmanian Devil Wranglers Don't Swim

If you have not yet read this post from Monday, June 20, you might find it helpful to do so before ingesting the following. - RS

Dan Coffey is blind with envy.

That must be the reason he's making his eleventh-hour bid for publicity. Coffey, all the while insisting that he's "for" Scribner Place and "for" the YMCA building downtown, is doing everything in his power to stop it. Coffey has never been "for" the Y or "for" any aspect of the Scribner Place project. Only now has he recast it as a question of the city's funding priorities.

Dan Coffey thinks you are a gullible fool.

That must be the reason he's trotting out his laundry list of "priorities" that make public investment in a revitalized downtown "impossible." It is an age-old trick of demagogues, but the "Wizard" is confident you won't look behind the curtain.

- We have old people doing without prescription medicine; therefore, we can't invest in Scribner Place.
- We have potholes in our streets; therefore, we can't invest in Scribner Place.
- We have a development environment that encourages sprawl; therefore, we can't invest in Scribner Place.
- We have locks on the rest rooms in our parks; therefore, we can't invest in Scribner Place.
- We face ever-rising gas prices; therefore, we can't invest in Scribner Place.
- We have cyclists without bike lanes being struck by careless drivers; therefore, we can't invest in Scribner Place.
- We allowed developers to build subdivisions without sidewalks; therefore, we can't invest in Scribner Place.
- We have police officers and firefighters who are injured or disabled; therefore, we can't invest in Scribner Place.
- We face a pension liability as city workers near retirement age; therefore, we can't invest in Scribner Place.
- We have animals running loose, in need of neutering and spaying; therefore, we can't invest in Scribner Place.
- We have subdivisions where the sewer connections have broken; therefore, we can't invest in Scribner Place.
- We have speeders and drunks on our thoroughfares; therefore, we can't invest in Scribner Place.
- We have break-ins, assaults, and meth labs in our city; therefore, we can't invest in Scribner Place.
- We have garbage trucks that won't run when it rains; therefore, we can't invest in Scribner Place.
- We have police patrol vehicles that are breaking down; therefore, we can't invest in Scribner Place.
- We have absurdly unbalanced council district populations; therefore, we can't invest in Scribner Place.
- We have high school seniors leaving, never to return again; therefore, we can't invest in Scribner Place.

Any of the above "we haves" or "we faces" will have its adherents. A certain percentage of voters, maybe even 100%, can be found to agree with one or more of these.

It is, however, on the "therefore" that Coffey demonstrates his contempt for the common sense and rationality of the city's residents. Because "A" is true (or at least, arguable), Coffey believes he can fool you into thinking that the Coffey-provided "B" is the conclusion.

Dan Coffey can't swim.

If Dan Coffey can't, won't, or doesn't swim, then he doesn't want your children, your families, your friends, or you to be able to use a clean, modern, indoor pool. No matter that every medical and fitness authority says swimming is one of the best exercise regimens. No matter that some marketing experts project that our city-owned aquatic center will be a destination draw for fun-seekers 100, 150, and even 200 miles away. I'll bet he doesn't bike, either. Therefore, creating bike lanes for safe and environmentally sound cycling is sure to be an advancement he will oppose.

Laying a false trail

Like the outback tour guide from the posting referred to at the start of this one, Dan Coffey is hard at work laying a false trail, hoping to stir up the "Tasmanian Devils." By dragging the carcass of a discredited and shameful defeatism across this city, he hopes to get a certain segment of the population to buy into ludicrous conspiracy theories. He hopes to generate the perception that anyone who offers a future-oriented solution is trying to steal from you, raise your taxes, kidnap your kids, and donate your organs to space aliens. Unreasoned frenzy and rage are Coffey's allies. Reason is his enemy.

Any thing that smacks of change is a thing Dan Coffey fears, and he has no compunctions about playing on your fears. He assumes his acolytes will follow his lead without thinking and that those who find his methods boorish and his reasoning deficient will be afraid to engage in the advocacy and debate that is required to get anything done in New Albany politics.

If you don't stand up to the Dan Coffeys, they will take this city from you without a fight. "It's always been this way" is a tired refrain, and I urge you to speak loudly and often to make sure the regressive minority who dance to the Coffey tune don't run off with your city's patrimony once again.

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